Sour Grapes and Self-Pity – Escaping Life’s Responsibilities
In my journey of counselling and guiding individuals over the last decade through my Tavamithram blog, I have encountered numerous men and women who, after interactions with me, emerged more courageous, fearless, and self-confident. There have been a couple of young women who absorbed the knowledge I shared so deeply that they took bold actions requiring immense courage—actions that would make an ordinary man hesitate not just once, but several times. However, there are exceptions. Despite receiving extensive personal counselling, some individuals continue to wallow in self-pity, which I always strive to address promptly. This tendency, especially among young men, often manifests as existential rhetoric and disillusionment with worldly pursuits. To me, this does not sound fundamentally manly.
I am using the term ‘manly’ just as Krishna does in Shlokas SBG 2:2 and 2:3 to wake Arjuna from his bubble of ignorance and prevent him from sliding into the never-ending abyss of self-pity, which invariably ends in self-destruction.
SBG 2:2 The Supreme Bhagavan says: O Arjuna, where, in this hour of crisis, did these qualities like weakness, which are unbecoming of honourable men, come from and take over you? Such qualities will prevent you from reaching higher levels in life and will also ruin your honour and get you a bad reputation.
SBG 2:3 Do not give in to cowardice, which is not manly and does not suit you. Shed this weak-heartedness and get up, O destroyer of enemies.
Declarations of renunciation and detachment, often framed as a desire to "just exist" or "return to a state of childlike freedom," are frequently reminiscent of the age-old fable of the sour grapes. Just as the fox, unable to reach the grapes, dismisses them as sour, these individuals often avoid life’s challenges under the pretext of seeking higher truths or rejecting materialism. This self-imposed simplicity and renunciation are, more often than not, mere façades for escapism and an aversion to effort. In the Srimad Bhagavad Gita, Krishna does not ask anyone to renounce their work, but to renounce their attachment to the work and its outcome. True renunciation lies in mentally and emotionally letting go of the ego and attachments, not in the physical abandonment of one’s duties and aspirations.
When Osho was asked if he was not a rich man’s ‘guru’, he explained that true richness is not about material wealth but about being centred and rooted, with a natural gravitation that draws people in. He criticised those who seek material gains under the guise of spirituality. True richness involves living fully, facing challenges, achieving success, and then being willing to give up material possessions for higher truths. It’s about cultivating a quality of life that transcends the mere accumulation of wealth.
In Shloka SBG 6:27 Krishna says: “The Yogi whose Rajas or passion is pacified, has a tranquil mind, is sinless and is identified with the Supreme Brahman, attains the highest level of happiness.”
A person who claims to want nothing without first creating something is only fooling themselves. From experience, I can say that until one truly satisfies their aims, ambitions, and desires, these unaddressed desires will remain dormant in the psyche, only to surface at the wrong time and hinder any potential spiritual growth.
Don’t try to escape — FACE the challenges, FIGHT them, and SUCCEED!
REMEMBER – FIRST BE SOMETHING AND THEN DECIDE TO GIVE IT ALL UP!
Follow Shloka SBG 11:33 given below. You are merely an instrument in the hands of the Divine. Just be, perform your duties with zero attachment to the results, and serve society in whichever way possible.
SBG 11:33 Krishna says: “Therefore, get up and attain glory. Conquer your enemies and enjoy a prosperous kingdom. All these warriors have already been destroyed by Me. You are merely an instrument, O Arjuna the ambidextrous one!”